Changing my approach about writing a Pitch letter

I have always had a very formal approach when writing almost anything. Maybe it is a career-style influence, but it was time to add some personality to my writings.

Please let me know what you think can be improved.

Esteemed Hiring Manager,

Working in an academic environment has always been one of my longstanding goals. My journey at the United Nations, allowed me to nourish this passion, as I learned the crucial need of education in building sustainable, just and resilient societies. My passion to spread awareness on issues as important as education enabled me to excel at my duties, grow professionally and acquire many skills that would make me a strong candidate for the position of Special Assistant for Communications and Research in the Office of the President.

As a Special Assistant, I have had the privilege to work with high level officials and executives. I have had hands on experiences on crucial projects that are both critical and time sensitive and require an utmost level of independence and professionalism, allowing me to develop flexibility, adaptability, as well as a disciplined, attentive and positive attitude.

I have also established tactful, diplomatic and excellent interpersonal skills, permitting me to thrive as a Communication and Social Media coordinator. I have strong communication and research skills, and the ability to simplify complex subjects.

Confident that my outstanding skills and professional experiences make me a unique candidate for this opening and would positively contribute to the advancement of the University- wide communications and messaging goals, I respectfully enclose my resume for your kind consideration. I look forward to hearing from you to schedule an interview at your earliest convenience.

Kind regards,